“A” for Effort: Unraveling the Myth of the Self-Esteem Movement

Eleven year-old Kate just flunked yet another math test. Over the past quarter, her cumulative grade has gradually sunk to a dismal sixty four percent. She is disheartened for a moment, but immediately forgets the bad grade and cheers up as her teacher reminds the class that there is a math pizza party at lunch. Years ago, the pizza parties used to only be for the children who earned A's in class. Today however, all students get to attend just for giving "their best effort" on homework or activities. Moreover, one popular method of teaching advocates that instructors not correct students’ spelling or grammar, arguing that kids should be “independent spellers” so they can be treated as individuals. These approaches to education originate from the advent of what has been called the self-esteem movement by San Diego State professor of psychology Dr. Jean Twenge. Since its beginning in the 1980s, there has been a marked shift in the classroom from teaching self-control and respect to reinforcing individuality, "good tries," and positive emotions, regardless of the situation. In fact, there have been lasting repercussions from this change in focus: "Self-esteem is on the rise, but it's difficult to find many clear benefits of this when viewing broader cultural changes," says Twenge. "We may think more highly of ourselves, but there's little objective evidence why we should." Her comments stem from a study that she recently published in Personality and Social Psychology Review, in which Twenge and her colleagues found that college students' self-esteem has risen steadily over the past few decades. Conversely, declining SAT scores and rising rates of teen pregnancy, crime, anxiety and suicide in the students provide evidence that academic and emotional regulation skills worsened. While it may seem like an important way to encourage children to be successful and productive, merely working to increase children’s self-esteem takes the focus away from developing more adaptive life skills such as discipline and responsibility thereby rendering them ill-equipped to enter adult life.

Twenge and her colleagues liken self-esteem to a gas gauge on a car; it is an indicator of the abilities one has in their "tank." Ideally, the gas gauge should reflect the actual amount of gas in the vehicle. However, classroom activities such as having an achievement-based pizza party that includes students who are failing or beginning each day by singing "I am special, I am special, look at me!" move the needle to indicate "full" when the child may only have a half-tank. If left unchecked, this misrepresentation can morph into narcissism in adulthood. Twenge’s findings support this trend. In an examination of 16,475 college students nationwide who completed an evaluation called the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI) between 1982 and 2006, she found that more than two-thirds had an above average score by 2006. This is a thirty percent increase from 1982. The NPI is a standardized measure that asks for responses to such statements as "If I ruled the world, it would be a better place," "I think I am a special person" and "I can live my life any way I want to." This concept of narcissism is not new; in Greek myth, Narcissus (see left) saw himself as more beautiful and better than those around him. He eventually fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water and died. Surely his inflated and inaccurate sense of self was the cause of his demise. Yet, only now has high (and inaccurate) self-esteem been scientifically implicated in the development of narcissism. There is a growing body of evidence to suggest that the problem is that the narcissist's inflated self-image lacks internal support and is fragile; like Narcissus' reflection, it dissolves with the slightest disturbance of the pool.

As a volunteer teacher in a preschool, I admit I have a hard time coming to terms with the idea that teaching children to feel good about themselves is so detrimental or that it can lead to maladaptive behavior in adulthood. Intuitively, it seems like a little unwarranted boost in confidence here and there cannot hurt. In fact, we even sing the "I’m Special Song" right before story time each morning. Research nevertheless indicates that there is no correlation between high self-esteem and meaningful relationships, achievement, or perseverance in work. In fact, Twenge and colleagues suggest that there might even be a negative correlation between unduly inflated self-worth and social interaction. University of Florida psychologist Ilan Shrira and his colleagues Joshua Foster and Keith Campbell agree. In their study that surveyed 485 undergraduates at the University of Georgia who were in romantic relationships, they found that those who scored high on the NPI expressed extremely low commitment to their partners. Shrira concludes that "narcissists tend not to value relationships unless it’s for self-serving purposes." The researchers warn that egotistical individuals can appear confident-but don’t be fooled! The defining characteristic of the narcissistic college-aged individuals that were studied was "game-playing love." They were more likely to have romantic relationships that were fraught with dishonesty, infidelity, and over-controlling and/or violent behaviors. The narcissism that is fostered in early childhood produces individuals who "aren’t playing by the same set of interpersonal ‘rules’ that most people are" notes Harvard University post-doctoral research fellow Seth Rosenthal. During his fellowship at the John F. Kennedy School of Government, he too found narcissism to be problematic in relationships. At first, in groups where there is no designated leader, members are likely to name the narcissist among them as a leader. “[Narcissists] are the people who show off the most, make the most noise, have the most ideas, or at least are most likely to keep throwing them out there,” Rosenthal says. After awhile however, group members become annoyed with the narcissist. This type of vanity leads to complications in the workplace as well. Young adults are entering the work force with a false sense of entitlement. They were taught in elementary school that everyone has a right to feel good even if they fail, cheat, or steal. Shrira adds "if all you get is positive feedback as a child and your success is not based on any sort of real accomplishment, you’re not going to be motivated...” Further, their method of interaction leads to a lack of collaboration with coworkers. Employers may be facilitators though. There is little motivation to work hard when competition is outlawed in favor of celebrating mediocrity.

The solution it seems is to intervene at the school age and teach children self-regulation and self-respect instead of just self-esteem. Building a repertoire of appropriate coping skills is an important part of maturing and it is necessary for children to be allowed to fail sometimes if they are going to learn to manage difficult situations. Additionally, there is one personality trait that is definitely linked to achievement, and that is self-control. Although the words "discipline" and "obedience" have garnered negative connotation within the education establishment, people with high levels of willpower are the most likely to succeed. In her book Generation Me: Why Today’s Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled–And More Miserable than Ever Before (see right), Twenge argues that “Self-control predicts all of those things researchers had hoped self-esteem would, but hasn’t.” Thus, teaching regulation is key. That is not to say children should never be praised. Positive reinforcement however should be reserved for actual achievement or improvement in ability, not just the "good effort" despite the failing grade.